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Diary

On death

About two weeks ago, I got an email in the morning saying that a coworker has passed away. He supposedly went for a run while attending a conference in Geneva and suffered a heart attack. Even sadder is the fact that he was supposed to go on a trip after the conference with his girlfriend and her daughter who has accepted him as her new family member. I know, this really is heartbreaking.

Although he wasn’t in my team, my group and the group he belonged to worked together closely, and I used to chit chat with him here and there. Even after a few days of his death, I kept on thinking and believing that he’d come back to the office sometime soon. Unfortunately, this hasn’t happened, and never will.

And last Friday, my coworker’s father has suddenly passed away. We were talking about the country he’s from and he showed me part of the city that his father lived. Then the tragedy happened the next day.

These series of events give me goosebumps. So far in my life, death has always been a topic that’s reserved for future, never as something tangible. But with two events happening not far from each other, I’m shocked and I’ve began to see that it could happen any time and anywhere.

At the same time, I wonder what I should do with my life. This has become a lot more serious question because I am beginning to understand that the time is indeed finite. My 20’s won’t last forever, and my life will also come to an end. And I do want to spend my life more meaningfully. 

People say "live every moment if it were your last" and although I've known the phrase for a long time, I now realize that I do need to.

I also think about my family, especially my parents. They are getting old and eventually there will be a time that I won’t ever be ready. What do I do without them? What will my life be without my parents? Even thinking about it gives me a headache…

Last few days, life humbly reminded that the there's nothing more important than life and that time doesn’t wait for anybody. Now a lesson for me, although I tend to take my family for granted, I learned that I really need to look out for my family and stop acting selfishly or for my own convenience.

Taeyang YouComment