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Diary

2AM Sentiments

Not because it's 2 in the morning now or

not because I just had a beer but

because I'm listening to this beautiful music, I am feeling very sentimental right now.

This song is a OST of a game (Maplestory) that I used to play a lot growing up. In fact everybody else played the game and as I scrolled down the comments section, a lot of people were echoing the same sentiments.

I also think back to that time. It was probably sometime between 2003 and 2007, when playing computer games was the highlight of my day.

Everybody was saying that he or she was pure back then. As much as I strive to be a contrarian to everything, I have to admit I was also pure back then. I mean, everything was okay. Perhaps the biggest downside to life was going to academies and coming home late. But on the other hand, the upside (a.k.a playing Maplestory) was amazing, although it was just spending time in front of a computer. 

I miss the times when I was so pure and innocent that I don't even care that I'm "wasting my life". Back then when I was playing, I could let all my concerns go, at least temporarily. For that time, I was in that little world, completely isolated from worries.

Now I don't quite feel the same way. Now I have a lot to worry about - GMAT, MBA, career, myself in general. When I was young, I wanted to become an adult. But adulting takes its toll. 

I don't know. But all I know/feel right now is that it is sad that I've completely lost the purity. But maybe, thinking back after 20 years, would I consider myself today pure? if that's the case, how will I cherish every moment given to me? Life is such a paradox...

Taeyang YouComment