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Diary

Crash

Oh my god, today was such a terrible day!

When I was writing yesterday's post, I was full of gratitude and happiness. It felt like my life has gotten one notch better through this trip... until today. 

So I went to bed around 1:45 last night due to jet lag and a cup of ice coffee I spontaneously had at 9 pm. I ended up taking a melatonin pill to fall asleep, accompanied by reading my kindle. Then today, the commute wasn't so bad and working was fine. But everybody was gone, so I ate lunch by myself while reading Kindle again which wasn't bad at all.

Come 5 pm, I didn't have much to do and the weather outside was really bad. I started feeling really shitty and I didn't know why. I thought I was really tired.

Yesterday, when Andy told me he feels like he's going through depression and emptiness after I left, I didn't understand what he meant. Apparently, we are not couples... so I was like calm down bruh... but today, I was able to feel 100% what he told me yesterday. I think this is what happened. 

This graph is the perfect description of what happened.

  • Thursday: Start of mini vacation. Watched 2 movies back to back. Felt pretty good.
  • Friday: Kings Dominion. Had so much fun. 
  • Saturday: Off to Madison. Despite 6 hours of flight, finally saw my friends and was back in town after a year and half. Partied. Was really really happy.
  • Sunday: Met again with some church friends. Went to casino. blew away $120. But andy made $500 from $60. Recouped all the loss. Drops the chip.
  • Monday: My ex did not reply to all my email, texts, calls. Felt pretty bad. My ego plummeted... But anyways, last night in Madison. Felt pretty sentimental
  • Tuesday: Met my parents after 8 days. They came back from Alaska trip. Felt pretty happy. Life is good.
  • Wednesday: Went to work. Had lunch by myself. Weather was pretty bad. Why am I here, in stead of hanging out with my friends at the lake. I feel like a monkey that's trapped in this shinny office building...

As I write this now, it's 9:17 pm. I met up with my friends and had dinner together. So I'm feeling slightly better now. Then I'm going to hit the gym. Hopefully I can come back to my "normal" state soon..!

 

Taeyang You